Women in abusive relationships with their intimate partners at home, or with their soon-to-be ex-husbands in court, often believe that the abuse to them is about them. If you?re one of these women, know this fact? It is not about you.
I was one of these women. Here?s the belief I held and how I came to let it go.
In 1974, I had the blessing of being introduced to meditation and I fell in love with the way I felt doing the practice. My friends were turning to drugs and I was merely sitting to pull nighters in college and to feel well-being.
One more important point on the subject of this subject. Over the decades, I continued the practice and it became the area of focus in my professional biofeedback and psychotherapy business. After doing my doctoral dissertation on the psychophysiology of meditation and its implications for psychotherapy, I knew that?s where I belonged.
When family violence and legal domestic abuse entered into my life, the practice took a back seat to holding life together for my children and me. But still in the chaos of the court calamity, I always had a way back home to the quiet within.
The Lie: Home and Court Abuse Is Not About You
I will never forget the final conversation I had with my attorney, that?s my last (of many) attorneys. I told him that I did not understand what the threat of a custody dispute was about?especially given that my soon-to-be ex was not an eligible candidate for custody. Legally he could not even ask the court for custody because of the court-documented abuse finding.
?What are his grounds for asking the court for sole custody?? I asked. My counsel said, ?He says, ?You meditate.??
Hearing those words in the context of the current trauma and tragedy before me with respect to my children?s ?kidnapping,? affected me in ways I did not fully realize until recently.
The Belief: Writing Replaces Meditation
Once I exiled myself to Sedona where I resided after my escape from legal domestic abuse, I could not return to meditation as a routine practice. I was in a spiritual ?Mecca? and my psyche resisted sitting?because on a very deep level, I came to associate sitting meditation with my children being ripped out of my life.
I turned to other spiritual practices for healing and inadvertently discovered the natural high and healing in automatic writing. At first daily, and then regularly, writing became an integral part of my life. In many respects, you might say that it was the foundation for rebuilding my life after the abusive relationships at home and in family court.
The Choice: Meditation Augments Writing
In the end, come with me and let?s fast-forward this journey 12 years. All 3 of my children have aged out of the system. They?re in their twenties and finding their own.
I moved to the Denver area 8 years ago and surrounded myself with the beauty of the Rocky Mountains wherein I resume regular meditation practice. My oldest 2 sons moved here within the last year and my youngest son is moving here next month.
Fortunately, we?re rebuilding these relationships. And coincidentally, I re-introduced myself to another yoga practice that has helped me recognize how I held that lie all of those years.
The Conclusion: it is Not About You
If you?re embracing some belief that?s truly another person?s story, chances are you, too, will awaken to the fact that it is not about you. You get to choose your thoughts.
Seek to find those that support your highest good over those that support your opposition?s campaign. For this, you?ll be most grateful and so will your children.
For more information about healing from abusive relationships, visit www.preventabusiverelationships.com/healing_from_within.php and claim Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. Helps people nationwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. Jeanne King, Ph.D. ? Domestic Abuse Prevention and Intervention
Source: http://dissertation-phd.com/what-is-the-key-to-healing-from-domestic-violence-legal-domestic-abuse/
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